guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
