Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
