I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
