They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
