i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
