Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry LacyA1981 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.

Fav 48 1691 5597
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

Fav 31 6226 1727
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

Fav 7 1309 3745
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now

Fav 10 2879 994
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.

Fav 45 2014 5777
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.

Fav 7 1594 783
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos

Fav 4 1411 705
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.

Fav 0 466 345
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river

Fav 0 12 67
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT