This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
