Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
