i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
