Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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