You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
