I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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