I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
