I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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