is your mom at the bar?
Dual....:-)
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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