Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
