And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
