He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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