I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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