Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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