Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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