We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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