so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
