Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
