im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
