My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
