My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
