He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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