I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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