so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
