u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He kissed a someone with a penis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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