READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
