I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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