i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
nutella sex= disaster
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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