a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
