your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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