Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
