I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
