How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
