ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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