she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
