after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
