We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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