I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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