Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
