...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
