I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
