Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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