I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
