he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
