They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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