Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
3pm strippers are depressing
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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